Reflect on your feelings.,
Plan what you want to say.,
Choose the right time.,
Be respectful of his reaction.,
Handle conflict effectively.
When you find out that you are pregnant, it is normal to go through a wide range of emotions. You might be excited, scared, surprised, or anxious. Before you share the news with your boyfriend, take some time to consider your own feelings.Once you have gotten over the initial shock, ask yourself some questions. For example, “How do I feel about this pregnancy?”
You can also say, “How will this change my life? How will it change my boyfriend’s life?”
Think about what kind of reaction you expect. You will naturally want your boyfriend to be supportive, but do you also want him to be excited about having a child?;
, If this pregnancy will be good news for your boyfriend, that makes it a little easier to figure out how to tell him. If you know that he will be happy, you can focus on planning a fun surprise. For example, you could buy a baby toy and give it to him as a hint.If this pregnancy was unplanned, you might be somewhat nervous to tell your boyfriend. That is normal and understandable.
Spend some time thinking about your goals for the conversation. For example, are you only looking for emotional support? Or are you also seeking financial support?
Once you’ve clarified your goals, spend some time planning the conversation. This is important, so it’s a good idea to jot down some notes to have with you. This will help you to remember what you want to say.
Take some time to practice. For example, look in the mirror and say, “John, I am pregnant. I know this is a surprise, but I’m very happy about the news.”
Rehearsing what you want to say can help you feel more calm and confident. It can also help you sort out your own feelings.
, Talking to your boyfriend about your pregnancy is a very important discussion. You want to make sure that you will have time to have an in-depth talk. It’s important to broach the subject when you both have plenty of time.Schedule a time to talk to your boyfriend. You can say, “Andrew, I have something important to discuss with you. When is a good time for you in the next few days?”
Whether this is good news or bad news, you want to give your boyfriend time to process the information. Don’t bring it up as he’s heading to work or school.
Choose a time when you are both clear headed. Don’t bring it up when you are both exhausted or getting ready for bed.
, Make your points clear. This pregnancy involves both of you, but it is your body. Don’t be afraid to let your boyfriend know exactly how you feel about the pregnancy. For example, if you are planning a cute and creative way to tell your boyfriend, make sure that it is clear that you are excited.
Maybe you want to plan a themed dinner to reveal your big news. Don’t just keep dropping hints–tell him what you want him to know.
If you are telling your boyfriend about an unexpected pregnancy, you will want to explicitly tell him about your feelings. You could say, “John, I found out that I am pregnant. I’m scared and not sure how to handle this.”
, Remember that you have had a little bit of time to process this big news. Your boyfriend is just now learning about it. His immediate response might not be exactly what you are looking for.Even if you’ve been trying to get pregnant, knowing that he will be a father can come as a big surprise. Don’t get upset if his initial reaction is one of shock.
Give him some time to process. If he says he needs a little time to clear his head, suggest that he take a walk around the block.
Understand that everyone processes information differently. Let him know that his emotions are valid.
, The conversation might become difficult to deal with if your boyfriend’s reaction is not positive. You might be disappointed to find out that he is not supportive of the pregnancy. There are some ways that you can effectively handle the situation.Listen to his reasons. Ask your boyfriend specific questions such as “Do you not ever want kids, or just not now?”
Try to determine the cause of his reaction. You can say, “Are you worried that we can’t afford a baby?” Once you understand the issue, you can work together to make a plan.
If your boyfriend just does not want a baby and you do, you need to express your feelings. You can say something like, “I understand your feelings. But I want this baby and the choice is ultimately mine. Please know that the door is open to continue this conversation.”
Remember that your hormones can cause you to be very emotional when you are pregnant. Make sure to give yourself the time and space you need to deal with your feelings.
If you do not initially get the reaction that you want, you will likely be frustrated. Try saying, “I understand that you’re surprised, and I am emotional. Can we take some time to think and try talking about this again?”