Note where he places himself.,
Suggest activities you know he’s not into.,
Ask to join him in his favorite things.,
Keep track of his promises.,
Ask him for favors.,
Test his memory.,
Talk about the future.
When you’re together, pay attention to where he orients himself in relation to you–especially when you’re out with other people. Think of the physical distance between the two of you as the emotional distance that he wants to maintain. The farther he keeps his body away when you’re sitting or standing together, the less he wants others to think of you two as being together.Take this less to heart if you know he tends to be shy or reserved. If that’s your guy, he could be nervous around you because he cares about you, or he may want to avoid coming across as someone who’s going to smother you.
, If he hates romantic comedies, ask him to go see one with you. If he doesn’t particularly like one or more of your friends, ask him to come along when you go out to see them. Test how willing he is to keep you happy. If he’s happy to do things that he’d rather not do just to keep you happy, be assured that this means he cares about you.Be careful not to overdo it. If all you ever do is drag him to places that you know he doesn’t like, he may start to resent it after a while.
, If he goes surfing every weekend, say you want to come along to the beach even if you don’t know how to surf. If he has a regular hang-out that he goes to, like an arcade or coffee shop, suggest going together. See how willing he is to include you in all aspects of his life.Respect the fact that everyone needs to do their own thing if he doesn’t want to make a habit out of bringing you along every single time. But at the very least he should be willing to include you every once and a while just so you can see what matters so much to him.
, When he says he’s going to do something, note whether he actually does it. Pay attention to how punctual he is when you’re supposed to meet or call each other. If he fails to show up on time, ask for the reason why and see if it’s a valid excuse.Everyone runs late or forgets to do stuff every now and then. But if he consistently fails to follow through on his word, consider that a sign that he doesn’t think of you as someone worth proving himself to.
, Whether it’s big or small, see how quickly he offers to do it. If he fetches you another soda from the fridge just so you don’t have to get up, or gives you his jacket because you feel a chill, then he cares about you. If he does it without thinking twice about it or expecting a reward, he cares even more.Obviously, if it’s a really big favor, like “fix my car,” he’ll probably have to think things over at first, if only to figure out if and when he could possibly do such a time-consuming project.
, In passing, refer back to a previous conversation you’ve had with him. If you told him a story about school or work last week, tell him how things turned out since then. See how much he remembers from the first story.Of course, he may not have the same job as you or attend the same class, so he may not have had a strong grasp on all the details in the first place. But expect him to at least remember the point of the story.
, Mention your own hopes and plans. Ask him where he sees himself a year from now, in five years, in ten. Pay close attention to how he answers. See how much your two visions conflict with each other, and if they do, how much effort he makes into combining the two into one shared vision. The more he talks about “we” and the less he uses “I,” the more likely he thinks of you as someone to plan his own future around.