Understand your older brother.,
Pick your battles.,
Get interested in things your older brother likes to do.,
Try a new activity with your brother.,
Don’t be jealous of other people’s sibling relationships.,
Ignore your older brother.
Adding a new member to any family causes change. Before you came along, your older brother probably got more attention than he gets now from your parents.
Whether or not you think it’s fair, your older brother is competing with you. For example, maybe he was the one in the family who was good at soccer; maybe he was very proud of this. If you start playing soccer and do well, your brother may resent your success and feel like his own identity is being threatened. Your brother might feel jealous of you, because he may feel that you’re the favorite of your parents. Simply understanding these things about your brother will allow you to take a walk in his shoes and be able to talk to him more easily.;
, Maybe your older brother bothers you so much that you want to pull your hair out. Maybe he’s a good older brother overall, but does a couple of annoying things here and there.If your brother’s only occasionally annoying, there’s no shame in letting those minor annoyances slide.
Sometimes it’s best to let the small things go.
Realize that arguing over the small things can be even more exhausting than what’s actually annoying you in the first place. Think about all the things you can expend energy on that you enjoy.
, Your brother is likely annoying you either because he wants attention from you, or he wants you to stop getting attention from your parents or others.
To redirect your older brother’s energy, try to focus positive attention towards him by showing interest in the things he likes to do.
This tactic may backfire if your brother thinks you’re trying to “steal his thunder” by sharing in his interests. But, for example, if both you and your brother like the same video game, you may have fun playing that game together.
, If you and your brother don’t have much in common, trying something new together may bring you guys closer.
Think about something you want to try but haven’t yet tried with anybody. Maybe trying such an activity with your brother will make it “your thing”.
, You may think your friend’s older brother is the coolest guy alive. You may wonder why your friend’s older brother seems to be supportive and fun in a way your older brother never is. Well, stop wondering.
Envying other people’s sibling relationships is a waste of your energy and does nothing to improve your relationship with your brother.
Keep in mind that you don’t know everything about your friend’s relationship with their older brother. It’s possible that their older brother can be just as annoying as yours. , Your brother may be uninterested in hanging out with you. He may just want to pester you. If that’s the case, he’ll find that not getting a reaction out of you gets really boring really fast.
If you have a history of always reacting, ignoring him might not work the first time. He will likely be persistent, thinking that he can get a reaction out of you eventually.
It will take a lot of willpower, but if you keep ignoring him for long enough, he will likely lose interest and move on to a different activity.
Alternatively, ignoring your brother’s annoying behavior might cause him to “snap out of it” and start treating you kindly again.