How to Stop Treating Your Boyfriend Like a Crush



Accept that this is a transition.,
Be aware that when crushing you may have formed an ideal of your boyfriend.,
Tell people that the two of you are dating.,
Be comfortable in your boyfriend’s presence.,
Be affectionate.,
Care for your boyfriend.,
Aim to have fun.,
Care for your own needs.

This is the first part of allowing yourself to be the partner and not the crush for your boyfriend––acknowledging that the fantasy phase of the chase has ended and the reality phase of coming together and forming a relationship is now truly underway. Also accept that making a good relationship requires effort––it doesn’t just happen.;
, When put to the test during actual dating, your ideal of what you dreamed him to be and the person he really is may conflict. Realize this when it happens and learn to respect and love the person he actually is, rather than the one you’d imagined he be. This can be a weird stage in your relationship but it’s vital that you can tell the difference between your preferences and the reality of the person you’re now dating, so that you don’t have too unrealistic expectations.

, If you keep it under wraps for too long, it’ll feel like you’re still crushing, keeping things to yourself. It will become fairly obvious to people that you’re acting differently and in time, people will see the two of you together, so it is important to decide with each other early on that you’ll announce to others that you’re dating. This definitely shifts things out of the crush zone.

, This means letting down your guard and letting him see the real you, not just flirty you. Having a crush on somebody usually means flirting with them, and giving subtle signs of your interest. Try being more open about your feelings. Now that you’re a couple, there should be no need to hide how you feel. If you do feel the need to hide aspects of yourself, this is a warning sign that the relationship isn’t good for you.

, Show him some love in front of people. Try to hug each other whenever you see each other, or just have him hold you in his arms when you guys are hanging out. Don’t keep your feelings limited, you not crushing anymore.

, Do the small things that show him that you care about him, such as noticing when he’s down and trying to cheer him up, being someone he can talk to without judgment and helping it out when he has a problem. Make it clear to him that he’s not replaceable.

Support him in his endeavors. Turn up to his sports matches and cheer him on. Clap loudly if he receives an award at school. Tell others about his achievements.

, That’s what a relationship is largely about, enjoying each other’s company.

, Keep up your own interests and activities, be involved in your schoolwork and stay in touch with your friends. Your relationship with your boyfriend is an important part of your life but it isn’t all of your life and the best thing you can do for your relationship is to continue cultivating all those things that make you unique and strong.

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