Avoid negative thinking.,
Allow yourself to be imperfect.,
Emphasize your strengths.,
Talk to new people often.,
Set confidence-building goals for yourself.
Don’t beat yourself up if you think you messed up or said the wrong thing. This will only make you continue to feel shy and lack confidence the next time you try to engage with guys. Instead of thinking things like, “That was stupid,” or “I’m terrible at this,” think of how to do better next time. If you find yourself rehashing the scene over and over, get out of your own head by talking to friends, reading a good book, or doing something else that makes you feel good.Instead of thinking negatively, remind yourself, “It’s okay to say the wrong thing,” or “I don’t need to impress anyone.”
When you’re thinking of how to do better next time, practice what to say in the mirror, or role play with friends.
, The guy you are talking to may be just as shy as you are. Part of building confidence is learning to understand that it’s okay to not know everything, to not always say the right thing.
Doing or saying the wrong thing is a great learning experience. Most people learn more from the things they get wrong than those they get right. Look at “failure” when talking to guys as a chance to learn how to do better next time. Remember, it’s okay to say or do the wrong thing. If you accidentally offend a guy you’re talking to, say something like, “I’m so sorry. I get nervous and say the wrong thing sometimes.” Most people will completely understand this.
You might have heard the saying, “If you fall off the horse, you should get right back on.” This is very apt, when it comes to building confidence. If you say the wrong thing and the guy doesn’t want to talk to you, that’s okay. Try again some other time., Talk to guys who may need your help. If you notice a guy who’s struggling in math class, offer to help him with his homework. Talking about something you excel at makes you feel more confident, and it takes some of the pressure and stress out of situations where you may feel shy., Repetition is one of the best ways to develop a skill. The more you do it, the easier it is, so one of the best ways to feel less shy is to just keep talking to guys. You’ll soon discover that, even if the guy doesn’t like you or doesn’t want to talk to you, you’re still just fine and there are other guys to chat with., It can be as simple as, “I will talk to one new guy this week” or “I will talk to at least one guy at the party this weekend.” If you feel like your shyness is really impacting your personal, educational, or professional goals, you may want to set a more aggressive goal for overcoming your shyness. Consider something like, “I will talk to one or more guys for five minutes every day this week.” Build up this goal from there, until it feels natural to engage in conversations with guys.