Open with something casual.,
Follow her lead.,
Create an air of intimacy.,
Christen her with a new nickname.Start calling her “Hermione” every so often if she shares a whole lot of facts and useful tidbits.,
Create inside jokes.,
“Confide” in her.
Don’t overthink it and try to be too deep or clever. Just show her that find her interesting enough to talk to. Start the same sort of conversation that you would with anybody else. Use whatever situation that you find yourself in to pick a starting point, For instance, you could:Request a small favor, like: “Hey, could you show me your laptop? I’m looking for a new one,” or “What just happened onscreen? I looked away for one second and missed it.”
Ask her about something relevant. For example: “What did you think of that band that just played?” or “I like those patches on your bag. Where’d you get them?”
Make a simple comment about whatever, like: “I don’t know about you, but I think I’m freezing in here,” or “That had to be the most ridiculous fight I’ve ever seen.”;
, Being a good listener is important in relationships. Active listening can help you to grasp more of what someone is saying while also making the person feel like you are listening closely. Try to practice active listening whenever she is talking. Some things you can do include:Making eye contact and facing her. Don’t look at your phone or glance around the room when she is talking.
Nodding and making neutral statements, such as “yes,” “uh-huh,” “I see,” and “go on.”
Asking probing questions to keep her talking and show interest, such as “What happened next?” “How did you feel?” and “What are you going to do now?”
Clarifying what she says when necessary, such as by saying, “It seems like you are saying ____. Is that right?” Or, “What do you mean when you say ____?”
, Once the conversation gets rolling, let her steer it. Respond to what she says. Follow up with questions to learn more about her. Show her that you are genuinely interested in her.When she tells a story, ask her what happened next. Or, back up and ask for a little more backstory to this or that plot point.
When she shares an opinion, ask her what led her to form that opinion.
Share your own stories and opinions, but be sure to tie them back to what she last said. For example, if she was talking about how she’s scared of the ocean, don’t brag about that time you successfully fought off a great white shark! Instead, use that story to show that you understand her fright.
, Don’t try to pretend to be to the person that you think she wants. Don’t adopt your friends’ tactics, either, if they go against your own personality. Remember: just because one tactic works for one person doesn’t mean it will work for you. Instead, impress her with who you really are.Don’t make her feel tricked later on.
Don’t fake interest in stuff that you couldn’t care less about. For instance, don’t pretend to love football just because you’re at a Super Bowl party.
If you aren’t ready to share this or that part of yourself just yet, leave it unmentioned. For example, if you feel embarrassed about writing poetry, don’t tell her that you think poetry is stupid.
, Don’t take “intimacy” to mean “romance.” Instead, simply try to forge a connection that she can’t replicate with someone else. Make her feel special by building a private language between the two of you. Use elements from your surroundings and your conversation. For example:, Try “Furiosa” if she loves cars, shaves her head, or drives aggressively. Call her “Slick” if she trips. But make sure she finds it funny, and quit it if she doesn’t.
, Poke fun at your surroundings, other people, or even yourselves.For example, say you both met someone whose name sounds like an action hero’s name. In the future, whenever the two of you have a flat tire or get lost, cry, “Jack Gunner, please save us!”
, Make an act of sharing a “secret” with her, even though it’s not something that you really hide. Again, say you’re at a Super Bowl party but hate football. Make a show of hushing your voice and whispering your confession. Make her feel as though the two of you share something special, even though you both know it’s a joke.