Set clear boundaries and consequences.,
Hold your boundaries.,
Shut it down if it continues.
You may prefer to let down an acquaintance gently, but be very clear that you are saying no. Say only what is true, and don’t feel required to offer them extra details. You can offer reasons, but don’t elaborate to make them feel better. They just need to hear that you are turning them down.Say, for instance, “I value your friendship. I’m not interested in pursuing anything else with you.”
“I’m not interested, and it’s not okay that you asked. You know I’m in a monogamous relationship.”
“I’m flattered, but I’d rather not get involved with a coworker.”
, When you say no, be clear about the fact that this is a closed topic. If you need them to treat you differently now that they’ve come on to you, say this as well.”I don’t want you to ask me again. If you do, I will not feel comfortable around you, and I will not want to spend time together anymore.”
“I am going to tell my partner. Don’t give me a hard time about that. If you keep harassing me, I’ll tell the rest of our friends as well.”
“We can talk about this eventually, but I’d rather you not bring it up at work. If you do, I will feel violated and I will have to tell someone to protect myself.”
, If your acquaintance crosses a line you set, enact the consequences you promised. If you don’t, your acquaintance will continue to cross your lines.Refuse to attend gatherings at which this person is present.
Do not hang out or offer friendship to someone who harasses you and makes you feel uncomfortable.
Report the interactions to HR if they happen at work.
, If this is happening repeatedly, and you have made it clear that you want it to stop, you are being harassed. This is unacceptable, and you should do what you need to do to feel safe. Tell mutual friends, and refuse to attend events at which your aggressor is also present. Explain your reasons to the host.
If it’s happening at work, report to your supervisor and to HR, and take it higher up if nobody is helping you.
If it’s happening at school, tell your teacher, the principal, and your friends.
Get a restraining order if you are being contacted or visited against your will.