Keep them talking about themselves.,
Look at them.,
Concentrate on them, not you.,
Offer your own take on things.,
Keep things light.,
Keep a positive frame of mind.
When you see your crush, just go right up and start a conversation.Show them how confident you are by going straight for it instead of shying away.Don’t give yourself time to overthink things and grow anxious (or give someone else the chance to swoop in and steal their attention). Just walk on up and open with something casual. Try:Asking a question about something you share in common, like a class: “Hey, do you know which pages Mr. Kingsley asked us to read for tomorrow? I didn’t write them down, and now I can’t remember.”
Commenting on something that peaks your interest, like their new sneakers: “Hey, nice kicks! Where’d you get them?”
Using something incidental to get the ball rolling, like the book they’re reading: “You know, that one’s been in my to-read pile forever. Is it worth getting into?”
, Once you draw them into a conversation, keep the spotlight on them at first to draw them in farther. Think of yourself as an interviewer and ask a lot of follow-up questions. This will flatter their ego by showing that you’re interested in what they think, and give you a chance to grow more comfortable with them before the spotlight turns on you. For example, if you opened the conversation by commenting on the book they’re reading:Ask if they’ve read any of that author’s books. If they have, which would they recommend reading first?
Say the book they recommend was turned into a movie. Ask which they liked better and why.
As you go on, let the conversation flow naturally from topic to topic, but keep the focus on what they think of that topic, whatever it may be.
So, if they really liked the movie adaptation because their favorite director made it, ask why they like that director, which film is their favorite, and so on.
, Make direct eye-contact when you walk up to them and maintain it as you talk. Show them that you’re interested in what they have to say by keeping your attention on them. Avoid glancing away and staring off at something else, which might make them think you’re bored, distracted, or feeling defensive.That isn’t to say that you should stare at them without blinking, though, because that could be creepy.
Take natural breaks. Shut your eyes or look away when you laugh. If someone else shouts or zips by on a bike a few feet away, glance at them.
Just keep your breaks brief and bring your attention back to your crush immediately.
Don’t forget to smile when you first approach. Show them that you’re happy to be talking to them and that they should be happy, too!
, Focus on what’s happening outside of you instead of your internal emotions. Tune all of your attention to what your crush says and does. Empty your mind of everything else so you only react to the conversation, not any anxiety that you might be feeling inside.Of course, don’t take that too literally and stand there empty-headed like a zombie.
The trick is to quiet any thoughts that don’t have anything to do with what the two of you are talking about right here, right now.
This way you won’t overthink things and make the conversation awkward by worrying about stuff that has nothing to do with it.
, Asking your crush lots of questions at first shows your interest in their thoughts and opinions, but remember to start sharing your own as you grow more comfortable around them. Don’t make them feel like this is a police interrogation. Make the conversation an equal give-and-take as you go on.Let’s say you’re still talking about their favorite director and movies. If one of their favorite movies is one of yours, too, say so and tell them why you love it.
If not, play the desert island game and ask which five movies they’d bring with them to watch for the rest of their lives. Then share your own picks and the reasons why.
As you go on and ask them more questions, share your own answers after they do. For instance, if all five of their desert island picks are horror flicks, say, “You’re really into horror, huh?” Then share your own opinion on the genre.
By being bold, asking lots of questions, and sharing your own answers, you can make them feel like the conversation is equal parts give-and-take.
At the same time, you get to direct the course of the conversation so you can reveal exactly what you want to share about yourself.
, Make the conversation enjoyable by sticking to topics that you both enjoy. Leave serious talks for the future, when the two of you are officially together. For now, just show your crush that you’re a fun person to talk to, and keep the conversation carefree.Avoid being negative. Say you absolutely hate their favorite movie. Don’t put them off by picking it apart.
That isn’t to say you have to lie and say you loved it. Be honest, but carefree. Just say you couldn’t get into it, and leave it at that.
Then use some aspect about it as a springboard to something you can speak positively about. For example, if an actor in that movie was in a movie you do love, switch topics by saying something like, “Oh, but you know what Tom Hardy movie I do love . . .?”
On the other hand, if you both think a movie was terrible, feel free to bond over picking it apart if you both enjoy doing that!
, Don’t assume everything’s destined to go wrong. That will just increase your chances of self-fulfilling that destiny and acting like more of an idiot! Instead, keep an open mind. Stop yourself from trying to read too much into every little thing your crush says or does. Unless they flat-out say, “I don’t like you,” take it easy on yourself. Go with the flow and assume everything will work out for the best.You’re not a mind-reader, so give yourself a break if they seem withdrawn when you talk with them. They could be tired, distracted, or depressed about something else entirely.
Focus on what goes right instead of worrying about what goes wrong. For example, if you made them laugh with a joke, cherish that moment instead of dwelling on the fact that you stuttered a few times.
Keep a sense of humor about yourself. Remember: everyone acts like an idiot sometimes, so don’t beat yourself up when you do. Showing your crush that you can laugh at yourself will make you seem even more confident.