Know the limits of your knowledge.,
Learn from others.,
Find out what they want.,
Decide how to respond.,
Don’t encourage their behavior.,
Without the benefit of hindsight, it’s often quite difficult to know what’s motivating the other person or what they truly feel or think about you.
Rather than assume they must just hate you, allow for the possibility that you’re projecting feelings that may not be there. Understand that they’re just as human as you are. Everyone has struggles in their lives that contribute to how they act–it’s entirely possible your enemy is antagonistic because of difficulties they’re struggling with.
Learn from the quote often attributed to Abraham Lincoln: “I don’t like that man. I must get to know him better.”, Pay close attention to the people who get along with your enemy. Learn from how they handle the dynamic to gain insight into what may not be working between you and your enemy and why.
If it’s a kind of behavior you’re comfortable emulating, try picking up tips from your observations to see if you can rejigger the tenor of you and your enemy’s relationship., Knowing what they’re trying to achieve is crucial to dealing with the problem. Are they jealous of something you have? Did you (consciously or unconsciously) slight them in some way? Do you do something that annoys them?
Knowing what’s driving their behavior can help you get out in front of their negative behavior and possibly blunt the effect their actions have on you.
, When you know what’s motivating the person’s behavior, you can begin to address it. You’ll have two options: improve the relationship or learn how to limit their effect on you.
If it’s an issue of a small habit or behavior you have that irritates them, you can consider not doing those things around them or sitting down with them to explain your behavior and help them accept it.
If it’s a more serious issue or you simply can’t figure out what their problem is, confront them about it. Nothing shuts down misconceptions or bad feelings like addressing them head-on.
Apologize if it’s warranted. If you did something either knowingly or unknowingly to upset them, apologize sincerely (and don’t do it again) so you can both move on.
Talk to the person calmly and coolly. Don’t accuse or antagonize, just have an honest conversation.
, Even if your enemy says rude or insensitive things about you, your friends, or your family, don’t give them the satisfaction of seeing it upset you.
In these situations, your enemy is simply looking for a reaction, and when they get one it will only encourage them to continue the behavior. If you want it to stop, start by ignoring them and their comments.Don’t listen to or spread rumors; it only perpetuates the problem. The more emotionally engaged you become, the more power you’re giving to your enemy.
Avoid them. Limit your contact with them as much as possible. Sometimes distance is enough to diffuse the situation., Nothing balances the negative impact of an enemy like having allies. The more people you have on your side and who see you as kind, helpful, respectful, etc., the less impact any potential enemy sabotage can have on you.When you’re tempted to say something negative about your enemy, turn that energy around and instead say something nice to another person.
Spreading positivity rather than negativity will give you the advantage over your enemy.