How to Get Over a Long Relationship That Ended

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Allow yourself to feel bad.,
Talk about it.,
Let your friends take care of you immediately after the breakup.,
Write about it.,
Don’t blame yourself.,
Distract yourself.

Emotion-focused coping is important to dealing with a breakup. This means allowing yourself to feel grief, sadness, and anger. These are normal and natural emotions that are felt after a relationship ends. Give yourself the time to grieve and recover, at your pace. Take care of your own emotional needs.

If you want to stay a home and cry in your bed, do so.
One way to accept your emotions is to tell yourself, “It is okay for me to feel bad right now. I’m going through a difficult time.”
Getting in touch with your emotions and tolerating distress is about accepting the emotion without judging it or necessarily trying to change it. Sit with the emotion and observe how it feels. What do you feel in your body? This information can indicate how you are feeling and help you process your feelings in a healthy way.;
, Your overall perception of social support can help you throughout the process of healing from a breakup.Processing your feelings out loud with trusted individuals can help with emotional healing; not to mention the support you’ll feel from others that care about you. It is important to acknowledge that you’re hurting; bottling it up may result in a melt-down later.

Ask a friend to come over and support you during this time. You could stay in your pajamas and watch a movie. Use this time to connect with your friend and discuss your feelings regarding the breakup.
Go out for coffee or bite to eat with a family member.

, A lot of times, your friends will want to keep you busy and help you feel better. Let them if you feel up to it. Distraction is a great way to temporarily feel better after a breakup. Additionally, your need for intimacy may be stronger after a breakup., Creative and expressive writing is a very useful tool in processing emotions and thoughts related to a breakup.Write down your thoughts and feelings about the breakup on a Word document or journal.
Avoid status updates, blogs, or other online posts because these can leave you feeling exposed.
You could write a letter to your ex that you never send. Tell him how you feel. Let your anger out. You don’t have to worry about his reaction if you don’t send the letter.

, Individuals that blame themselves for a breakup may end up experiencing distress, anxiety, depression and reduced health outcomes.Individuals who do not blame themselves are able to process their emotions better and look at negative events from the past more realistically.

Instead of blaming yourself or thinking negatively, forgive yourself for any mistakes or transgressionsFirst analyze what you think you might have done wrong. You could write these down if you wish. Then, go through each item and say or think to yourself, “This was a mistake and I forgive myself for it. I did not want it to turn out this way and I know what I did was wrong. I will work toward not continuing to make this mistake in the future.”

, Sometimes when people split up they make ruminate over the relationship, thinking, “What could I have done better? Am I not good enough?”However, this may lead to more distress and less emotional adjustment.Avoid re-playing the situation in your mind over and over again, and thinking about what you could have done to fix the situation. If you find yourself doing this, distract yourself with an activity or think about something else. You can also remind yourself that you may not have been able to do anything, and you could not have predicted the outcome.
Avoid social media such as Facebook.It can be difficult to avoid cyber-stalking your ex and will social media will not serve as a useful distraction if it constantly reminds you of your ended relationship. One study showed that people who looked at their exes on Facebook had higher distress and longer for their ex-partner.Be busy and pack your social calendar full with activities and events. Try new things and rekindle old friendships.

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