How to Get Over a Crush Whose Orientation Doesn’t Match Yours



Acknowledge it.,
Consider taking some time away from them.,
Start looking around for new crushes.,
Try to just be friends.,
If being just friends seems like it isn’t working, or isn’t something that could work, ask yourself if you want to be friends.,
Take care of yourself.,
Nurture your self-esteem.

You already know their orientation doesn’t match, but spend a few minutes to really think about what this means. No matter how much you may want to, don’t push this information to the back of your mind. It hurts, but it’s a pain you’ll have to tackle no matter what.;
, There are two possibilities here: the feelings will move on quicker, easier, and with less pain if you allow yourself to just be friends with them, or hanging out with them right now could just deepen the feelings. If hanging out with them only serves as a painful reminder that things can’t work out between the two of you, then it’s best to reduce that stress by taking a break.

If you’re feeling brave, tell them about your crush, and explain that you need some time away to get over it.
Otherwise, make gentle excuses: you’re too busy, you have a huge project this month, you’ve been needed to help out at home more, et cetera. Affirm that you still like them and want to hang out once things cool down, so that they know it’s not personal.

, You may feel like your current crush is the be-all-end-all right now, but they aren’t. There are thousands of people nearby who can like you back. It can be very difficult to find someone else who compares in your eyes, but it is a good thing to do, and a healthy possible part of moving on.

If you aren’t straight, try looking for people of compatible orientations at pride events, LGBT+ clubs, dating websites, or gay bars (if you’re of drinking age).

, You have feelings for this person, and that’s okay. Just put them into a different direction than romance.

, If this person has qualities that you like in a friend, and you believe you can feel happy and comfortable around them, then the friendship is probably worth preserving. Otherwise, it’s okay to let go of the relationship and move on.

If you have a huge crush on this person, hanging out with them but not dating them may feel like torture. Don’t put yourself through agony just to keep clinging to an impossible relationship. You deserve better.
Don’t say “Let’s be friends” if you aren’t actually satisfied with being friends.
Remember that you don’t have to decide right away. During your time away, you can work through your feelings, and then figure it out.

, Use this time to step back and re-evaluate ways you can improve your own life, instead of devoting all that mental capital to your crush. You’ll find a few distracting tasks to take care of, and you’ll be bettering your own situation at the same time.

Give yourself a mini-makeover (even if you’re a guy!)
Get organized. If it’s been awhile since you’ve cleaned out your closet/car/garage/basement, get on it! Sorting through old junk can be a meditative process, and you’ll probably feel relaxed and accomplished when you’re done.
Work out. Exercise clears the mind — when you’re so focused on pushing your body, you can’t afford to worry about much else besides breathing and moving.

, Rejection is rough, and sometimes it’s easy to forget that you aren’t less of a person for it. Take care of your mental health so that you can feel good about yourself and move on.

Write two lists: one list of things you’re grateful for, and one list of things you’re good at (work, hobbies, social skills, etc.). Tape these lists to your wall where you can see them every day.
Practice positive self-talk. It sounds silly, but it really works. Look at yourself in the mirror a few times a day, and say whatever it is that you need to hear. It might be “You’ll find someone better” or “No one is worth all this moping” or even just “I am awesome.” Repeat it until you believe it.
Work on your hobbies and skills. Sing a song, build a birdhouse, beat the tenth level, draw a picture, or whatever you love. Then look at your work and recognize how cool it is.
Volunteer. Clean up neighborhoods, teach underprivileged children, work at a soup kitchen, or help out online at websites like wikiHow. Doing good work will help you feel proud of yourself.

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