Ask him his opinions on things that you have in common.,
Playfully disagree and banter with him.,
Avoid asking him questions he already knows the answer to.,
Boost his confidence.,
Learn how and when to end a conversation.,
Follow up with texts or messages regularly.
After you have made your first connections, you want to continue messaging him and having conversations to keep the connection you have made with him strong. One way to make your connection stronger and keep your conversation interesting is to ask him his opinions on things.
Whatever you have in common, be it books, movies, food, etc, think about good questions to ask him that are open ended and will start interesting conversation. For example, if you both love Harry Potter, you can ask, “So what do you think is the best Harry Potter book?” And feel free to completely agree or disagree with him. These kinds of disagreements can lead to banter and can be pretty fun to have.
You can start by telling him something that you have an opinion of and then ask his opinion on it. This question can also be related to the context of where you are or what you are doing. For example, if you are eating an apple at lunch, you could say, “I think that Granny Smith are the best apples period, but out of curiosity, what kind of apple is your favorite?” Once again, being playful is a good way to make your conversation more fun, especially when you are talking about simple topics and just getting your conversation going.
Come up with a few different questions you can ask him before you talk to him because topics of conversation can go more quickly than you realize.
, He will want to keep talking to you if you have fun when you talk. An example of banter is if you raise an eyebrow when he tells you that his favorite apple is Red Delicious, and you say something silly like, “You are saying you like Red Delicious apples best? Well I guess we can’t all be perfect.” Guys like this kind of silly banter because it is low pressure and fun. Banter is great because you two don’t have to talk about anything in particular, but you are still making a connection.
Practice bantering with your friends and family. Find silly things to disagree with them on. Playfully disagreeing can be good for your other relationships too.
, Try not to use small talk or getting to know you questions like “What’s going on?” or “So where are you from?”. These questions are not very interesting and you won’t learn much about him because he may give you an answer that he has already used many times before. You want him to come away from this conversation excited to talk to you again, so stay away from small talk.
, Everyone wants to feel good about themselves, and if you can provide that for him, he will most likely want to keep talking to you. So get good at telling him why you like him with small, genuine compliments. You don’t have to make it a big deal- you can casually tell him why he is great. In fact, avoid making a big show of it. For example, while you are walking somewhere and if you notice he is usually good with directions, you can say “I like that you always seem to know how to get us where we are going.” , One way to keep your guy wanting to talk to you more is if you leave the conversation at the right time. The best way to end a conversation is to first find a place after you have made good connections and before the conversation has started to wind all the way down. Then think about why you need to get home, and after you have laughed or made a connection about something, let him know you need to get going. Make sure you tell him you really enjoyed yourself and look forward to talking to him again.
Be casual and cool when you end the conversation. Say something like “Hey, it was so fun talking to you. I think I need to get home and get on my homework, but I really look forward to hanging out with you soon.”
Make good eye contact with him when you leave. Let your eye contact linger a second longer and smile at him a little brighter or slyer when you do.
, Depending on your conversation style and the guy you like, regularly can mean different things. Start messaging him every couple of days, and if he is prompt or slow with his answers, you can message more often or less often. Send him playful or funny comments or questions that engage him.
For example, ask him for updates on how things are going. You can ask him something like, “Hey, how is that midterm paper coming?”.
Or tell him about something interesting that happened to you or that relates to him from your day. You can say something like, “Remember eating peanut butter sandwiches because the food trucks were late? I can see B lunch is eating all of our food.”
Try to vary the kinds of messages you send. Don’t only ask for updates or say funny things. Try to do a combination of questions and funny comments.