Make sure you’re ready to start dating.,
Start dating just for fun.,
Open yourself to another serious relationship.
Before you jump back into the love game, it’s important to make sure your heart is mended as much as possible so that you don’t feel worse when nobody you meet stacks up to your old significant other, or end up hurting people in the process. Here’s how to know if you’re ready:
If you’ve stopped thinking about your ex all the time. Your ex can cross your mind a few times a day, and you can have a relapse once in a while, but on the whole, your thoughts should be focused on your present life, your goals, and your future.
If you don’t compare every guy you meet to your ex. It’s important to approach dating with an open mind. If you’re only out to see how your date stacks up to your ex, then you’re not ready for dating.
If you only want to date in order to make your ex jealous. If you only want to see new people so your ex will hear about it or see pictures of you and a new special someone on Facebook, then you’re not being fair to your potential suitors.
If you’re feeling optimistic, positive, and like you have a chance—however small—of falling in love again.
Don’t be frustrated if you can’t completely stop thinking about your ex. If six months, or even a year or two has gone by and you’re still thinking about him or her, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t start dating again. It takes time to get over people, and if you’re making an effort to move on instead of being stuck in the past, then dating is healthy.
, Once you’re ready to play the dating game again, you don’t have to jump into it head first—just ease your toes into the water and see what happens. You’ll have the best results if you take things slowly at first. Here’s how to do it:
Don’t jump to conclusions. If your new date doesn’t impress you with his looks or attitude right away, give him a chance. You may be too focused on having that initial spark to see if something else is building between you.
Keep things light. When you start dating someone new, talk about your friends, your interests, and the fun things you hope to do. Don’t jump into a deep philosophical discussion about how to live a happy life, or share the top ten things you’re looking for in a husband. This will scare off your new date. Keep things fun instead, and dig into the deeper stuff later.
Don’t talk about your ex. If it comes up, you can briefly mention your ex and say a few words about why your relationship ended, but try to steer clear of this topic for as long as possible. Once you and your date start opening up to each other, you can talk about this, but you don’t want to seem like your stuck in the past.
, Once you’ve stopped thinking about your ex, have gone on a few dates, and are ready for real love again, you need to make sure you can pursue a new and healthy relationship while protecting your heart as much as you can. Here’s what you should do:
Be honest about your past relationship. Once you’ve seen someone for a few months and things are getting serious, don’t be afraid to share as much as you want to say about your past relationship. If you keep in all of your painful memories from your last relationship, you won’t be able to fully open up. Just be careful not to talk about it so much that your new sweetie thinks you’re obsessing with your ex.
Try not to make the same mistakes as you did in your previous relationship. If you’re ready to start seriously dating again, it means you’ve reflected on the things that did not work in your relationship. Though each relationship is completely unique, there should be a few helpful lessons you learned, such as not to take anything for granted, to remember to tell the person you’re with how much you care, and not to spend all of your free time with your significant other.
Don’t compare your new relationship to your old one. Though you can take lessons away from your old relationship, you should treat your new relationship as something exciting and malleable, and work to make the new situation as amazing as possible.
Open yourself to love. Once you’re really ready and feel committed and invested in the person you’re with, don’t be afraid to let go. There is always a chance you will get hurt again, but if you’ve reflected and found the right person, the risk of getting hurt will be worth the amazing feeling of falling in love.