How to End a Romantic Relationship (Teens)



Make sure you are actually ready to break up.,
Think about what you want to say first.,
Pick a good time.,
Keep it a secret.,
Show up in person.,
Pick a place in private.,
Use open confrontation.,
Start with something nice.,
Use “I” instead of “we.”,
Don’t go negative about the other person.,
Don’t be mean.,
Ask how the person is doing.,
Be absolutely clear.,
Keep your mouth under control.,
Understand that you’ll still feel sad.

That is, everyone fights in relationships sometimes. In the heat of the moment, you may decide it’s time to let the person go. However, if you take some time to cool down first, you may realize that what happened isn’t as much of a big deal as you made it. You don’t want to break up and then regret it a day or two later.Don’t hint at breaking up in your anger, then leave. If you have a huge argument, it’s not a good idea to say or hint that you may want out and then leave. You’ll just leave your boyfriend or girlfriend upset and worried that you want to break it off, even if you just want to work through the problems.;
, When you do decide it’s time to break up, don’t just rush into the conversation. Decide what you want to say first. Establish why you want to break up, and decide how you want to say that., Choose a time when you know your boyfriend or girlfriend won’t be busy. Try not to pick a day before he or she has a big test or game. Be considerate of his or her time and that that person has going on.On the other hand, you don’t want to hold off forever once you know the relationship should be over. Try to pick a date where the other person is not busy but is not too far in the future.

, It’s not nice to spread the news around before you tell the person because the news could get back to him or her. In that case, you’ve effectively broken it off through a rumor, which isn’t respectful at all.The exception to this rule is it’s fine to talk it over with one person you trust completely not to tell anyone else; that person can help you decide exactly what you’re feeling and what you need to do., These types of conversations should be done in person, not via the phone or texting. It shows you respect the other person enough to tell them to his or her face. Don’t email or text the news. Even a telephone conversation isn’t the best. Ask to see the person before you bring up the topic.However, you don’t want to give any indication that the news could be bad beforehand, as the other person will just worry about it until he or she can see you., You don’t want to tell someone you’re leaving him or her when you’re sitting in a coffee shop. He or she is obviously going to be upset, and most people don’t like to be upset or crying where strangers can see him or her. Therefore, try to pick a place where you two can be alone., In other words, the best way to break up with someone is to face it head on. It may seem heartless to tell your boyfriend or girlfriend in person that you don’t want to be with them, but doing so allows the other person to hear what you have to say and then begin the process of hurting and healing.The problem with other methods of breaking up, such as drawing back from the person, escalating the situation (so he or she breaks up with your), or using another person to do it (such as setting your boyfriend or girlfriend up with someone else), is that they create more drama and heartache in the long run. They don’t create a clean break, or if they do, they do it in a more dramatic way.In addition, talking to the person face-to-face will give him or her a chance to ask questions. It also give him or her a chance to talk it over with you, allowing the person to work through some of his or her feelings., A good way to open this conversation is to begin by talking about something you value about the person. Even though you’re having a sad conversation, you don’t need to start out with negativity.For example, you could say, “I’m so glad we’ve gotten to spend the time we have together. I think you’re a good person.”

, That is, when you use “we” to talk about the situation, you invite a discussion about how you should move ahead. If you’ve decided you want out, you need to make it known that it’s your decision to do so.For instance, you should say “I’ve decided that I need to step away from this relationship,” not “I think we should break up.”, When you’re breaking up, you don’t need to go into how you see the other person as a failure. In fact, if you feel the need to talk about what’s wrong, discuss the problems you had with the relationship, not the person.For instance, you don’t need to say something like “I can’t be with you anymore because you’re a slob.”
Instead, talk about behaviors, such as, “I don’t feel like I can be in a relationship with you anymore because of the way you don’t take care of your room and your personal things. I feel like that’s disrespectful to your parents and to me.”
While even talking about behaviors can be mean, it can give your boyfriend or girlfriend things to think about for the next relationship he or she has., That is, you obviously have cared about this person for awhile. Just because you’re ending the relationship doesn’t mean you need to hate him or her. Establish that while you’ll always care for that person, you just don’t want to have the same kind of relationship anymore.For instance, you could say, “You’re very important to me, and I will always care for you. However, I don’t think we can be together anymore.”

, Even if you are ending it, you can invite the person to talk about what he or she is feeling. That gives the person a chance to respond to what you’ve said. As an example, you could say, “What are you thinking about what I’ve said?”, If you think that the other person still hasn’t quite got the message, it’s fine to be fairly blunt. You don’t have to be mean, just straightforward, such as “I know you would like to continue on in this relationship, but I don’t. I wish you all the best, though.”, Once you’ve broken up with someone, don’t talk bad about that person. It reflects worse on you than it does on the other person, plus you shouldn’t throw hateful words at someone you once cared about. That person deserves better., Even if you broke up the relationship and even if it was the right thing to do, you’re still going to feel some sadness that it’s over. That’s perfectly normal, and you’ll need some time to get over it. Give yourself as much time as you need.

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