How to Deal with an Autistic Guy Who Has a Crush On You



Don’t take advantage of his interest in you.,
Take him aside and clearly tell him how you feel.,
Continue hanging out as much as you’d like.,
Consider giving him a little space if he seems to be having a hard time.,
Set limits as needed.,
Tell him if he’s doing something you don’t like.,
Treat him with compassion.

Since he may be honest and unabashed in his pursuit of you, it may be tempting to put off rejecting him to avoid breaking his heart. This can hurt him, by allowing him to be led on and look like a fool. It’s best to “rip off the band-aid” and tell him right away.

, Since mixed signals can confuse autistic people, directly explain that you’re flattered but uninterested. While he’ll feel a little sad, part of him will feel grateful that you were clear with him so he could stop wasting his time wooing someone who didn’t want to be wooed.

Speak as clearly and compassionately as you can.
Then tell him if you want to be friends or if you think it’s better that you go your separate ways.
Don’t offer to be his friend out of pity. You won’t be doing him or yourself a favor. Only offer to be his friend if you truly like being with him.

, He will probably be okay with going back to being friends.

, Seeing you might be painful to him for a while, and he may be too polite to say it. If you notice that he seems a little sadder or more distant than usual, it might be time to back off for a little while.

, For example, if he likes to spend hours chatting in the evenings, it’s okay to say “Hey, I really can’t talk with you after 7 pm. I’ve got plans tonight.” You don’t have to mention that the plans involve movies and fuzzy pajamas.

, Explain that a specific action makes you uncomfortable or is socially inappropriate. Give reasons if you can. Most likely, he will be apologetic and respectful of your feelings.

For example, “It startles me and makes me feel uncomfortable when you hug me from behind. Please stop doing that. If you want a hug, you can approach me from the front, or hug somebody else.”
It may feel blunt, but clarity is the best way to get through to him. That way, he won’t keep doing something you don’t like, and then feel embarrassed or guilty about not noticing the signals later.

, Remember that autistic people, while sometimes socially clueless, are good at heart. Raising your voice or making accusations will hurt him, and you may feel like a bully afterwards.

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