How to Deal With a Break Up



Let your emotions loose.,
Get that much-needed alone time.,
Don’t force yourself to be “okay.”,
Confide in a close friend.,
Let go of your bitterness and regret.,
Start to realize that you’re better off alone.,
Stop talking to your ex.,
Get rid of anything that reminds you of your ex.,
Take it easy with social media for a while.,
Avoid doing things that remind you of your ex.,
Change your environment as much as you can.,
Stay busy.,
Spend time with your loved ones.,
Write in a journal.,
Pick up a new hobby.,
Do something your ex never wanted to do.,
Don’t let him stop you anymore.,
Enjoy your alone time.,
Get some exercise.,
Remind yourself of all the things you’re grateful for.,
Get ready to love again.

This is the first thing you have to do if you want to move on. If you feel like crying, let out those tears. If you’re angry, scream and kick some furniture. If you’re hurt, confused, and upset, cry, yell, pout, complain, shout, and do whatever you have to do to get those negative emotions out of your body.

Of course, it’s better to do this when you have some privacy, but don’t try to keep everything in for the sake of being composed. You’re hurt. There’s nothing wrong with admitting that.

If you don’t show any emotions, then you’ll just be in denial about how awful you feel. This will make you feel those same angry, bitter feelings — for longer.
Don’t be afraid to show weakness. Crying in front of a close friend is perfectly normal.
It’s okay to admit that “It’s not okay.” Everyone knows break-ups suck, and there’s no point in acting like you don’t care when you do.
Sure, if you pass your ex by, you can look as cool as a cucumber. But when you’re alone or with close friends? Be who you are and show how you feel.;
, You have a lot on your mind and it’s likely that you need some time to yourself.

Though you may want to be around people every second of every day because you’re terrified of being alone, your best bet is to plan a date with yourself so you have some time to just be sad, stare out a window, write in your journal, or just think about what happened.
If you refuse to be alone for a second after your heart ache begins, then you’ll never be able to truly deal with it.

Think about it: when is the last time you planned a date — with yourself? This can be a miracle in disguise.
Pamper yourself. Take a long hot bath, put on some lotion, do your hair, and take care of your body. Don’t stop with the hygiene just because you’re upset.

, It’s okay to mope, be sad, and just hate life for a little while.

Though you can’t be sad forever, being sad for a little while is perfectly natural and much better than forcing yourself to hang out with friends, put a big smile on your face, and laugh about your break-up or make it seem like it wasn’t a big deal even if it was.
Tell your friends that you’re going to stop being social for a little while and that you need a break from social events, especially any that will involve alcohol. Sure, any good friend will try to force you to come out, but try to make them understand that you’re just not ready yet.

Of course, don’t let this go on for too long. If it’s been months since you’ve really socialized, then you have a problem.
When you do go out there, you can keep a low profile. Don’t talk too much, laugh, or just act hyper to prove that you’re doing just fine.

, Though hanging out in big, loud crowds may not be your best bet when you’re dealing with a break-up, confiding in a really good friend or two who really gets you can help you feel a lot better.

You can do this over the phone or in person during a The New Girl marathon; whatever feels right to you. Having a person to talk to one-on-one can help you get your feelings out while making you feel less alone.

Sharing your feelings with everyone can make you feel worse, but sharing them with one or two people who really care can help you heal faster.
Your friend may offer some comfort as well as some advice for how to move on.
It’ll feel better to get your feelings out there. Just don’t fall into a pattern where you keep being sad and complaining to the same friend or you’ll start to recycle all of those negative feelings.

, Bitterness and regret are two of the most common emotions that people going through break-ups can feel. You may be bitter because of what your ex did, because of how much he or she hurt you, or because of all the time you wasted on such a bad relationship.

You may regret the way you acted, or regret that you put up with the other person for so long. Well, if you really want to deal with the break-up, then you have to kick these negative feelings to the curb and focus on looking ahead, instead of behind you.

Sure, you may feel like you wasted your time in the relationship, and that can definitely make you bitter. But no time spent on a relationship is really time wasted — the time you spent in the relationship will give you the perspective and experience you need to approach a new relationship in a more mature and productive way. That may not be a big consolation now, but you’ll appreciate this in the future.
You may regret certain things you did or said, but there’s no taking them back now. You can only move forward, not backward, and dwelling on the past will only slow you down.
Romanticize the whole affair. This may sound silly, but pretending you’re a character in a movie who’s struggling and making everything dramatic can help you feel better.

First, it may make the whole break up seem less intense as blowing it out of proportion makes it more fictional and less like you’re involved; this doesn’t mean to say, however, at some point you shouldn’t confront it for what it is.
Secondly, glamorizing yourself might make you laugh and, after all, laughter is the best medicine.

, This one takes time. If you really want to deal with a break-up, then you have to see that you’re much better off without your ex, even if you may feel the exact opposite.

There’s no way that relationship was giving you as much joy and fulfillment as you thought — otherwise, why did it end? You may think that the thing you need the most is your special someone, but that is absolutely the last thing that will make you feel better.

Make a list of all of the reasons why you are better off alone. Whenever you start doubting the benefits of your singledom, read the list to yourself — read it out loud, if you have to.
Even though it can hurt, it can also help to make a mental note of all of the worst moments in your relationship. Don’t rehash them all, but remind yourself of them whenever you start to feel sad and lonely.
Remind yourself why the relationship ended. It’s most likely a good reason, and nothing that you can really fix. Sure, you had some great moments, but did they really outweigh all of the pain you felt?

, Though it’s not impossible to become friends with your ex eventually, it is nearly impossible to be friends with your ex right after a break-up.

Though you may think it’s cool to text your ex when something reminds you of him, grab coffee, hang out with him at parties, or just call him to say Hi, the longer you do this, the longer you will prolong the pain.
Sure, you’re used to talking to your ex all that time, but that was while you were dating. Now, you’ll need to wait until you heal to talk to him — and that could take months, or for break-ups of longer relationships, even years.

Even if you’re the one who did the breaking up, don’t talk to your ex. If he or she really wants to talk, explain that you’re both better off taking a little breather.
Take your ex’s number out of your phone. That will prevent you from texting or calling in a moment of weakness.
If you and your ex have the same friends, you may have to take turns hanging out with them, or you may have to lay low for a little while. It won’t be fun, but it’s better than opening old wounds.

, You won’t be able to deal with your break-up if every little thing in your room reminds you of your ex. First off, that means giving back any of his stuff. And those gifts he gave you?

You don’t have to throw them out, but it’s best to put them in boxes for a little while, and that means you:

Fluffy the bear he won for you at the carnival
The necklace he gave you for your birthday ; take it off and put it away in your jewelry box.

You may feel that you’ve spent so much time with your ex that your lives are intertwined. Getting rid of the things that remind you of your ex can help you unravel your connection.
Hide the things that remind you of him even if they weren’t gifts. That poster from the concert you went to on your first date? It’s time to hang up some new wall art.
This will be highly painful for sure. If you don’t feel strong enough to do it on your own, invite a friend over for a “spring cleaning” session.

, Clicking on your ex’s profile again and again to see if he’s been hanging out with any new girls — or just to see how much fun he’s having without you — will lead you to no good, my dear.

Take a week off from Facebook, or even two. See how little you miss it.
Don’t try to make your ex jealous by posting lots of pictures of yourself having a supposedly great time. Instead, get offline and focus on actually having an amazing time. Who cares if your ex knows about it or not?

If you really are a Facebook addict, limit yourself to just 15 minutes a day. And force yourself to log out any time you click on your ex’s profile.
If you want to be dramatic about it, you can always unfriend your ex on Twitter, Facebook, and other social media sites.

, If you and your ex loved going to the Italian place down the street on date night, pick a new hot spot for your pasta cravings.

If you two loved watching Jeopardy together, bid Alex Trebek adieu for a little while. If you always went mini golfing, hiking, biking, or swimming together, put a hiatus on these activities and find a new form of exercise that you love. #*You don’t have to stop doing these things forever — just until you can do them because you love them, without thinking of your ex.

You may feel like you did absolutely everything with your ex and that there’s nothing that you can do to not think about him. That’s when you can start finding a new routine that can give you a fresh start.

, Though it’s unlikely that you can move to a completely new apartment or home (unless you lived together, of course) immediately after your breakup, you can do some redecorating to make your space feel like it’s completely yours.

Move your furniture around, hang up new wall art, and put up some new decorations. This will help you clear your head and look at the world with fresh eyes — not eyes that only land on your ex.

If you can, take a mini vacation. Just falling out of the same old routine for a weekend can help you get your head straight.

, At first, you have to slow down and focus on healing, assessing your thoughts, and getting your head straight. But once you feel a bit more emotionally stable and have cut ties with your ex, you can work on having a busy and fulfilling schedule.

Fill your days with friends, laughter, exercise, fun activities, and heck, even some work. Though you should always make some time for yourself, the busier you are, the less likely you are to think of your ex — or even to try to hang out with him.

Fill your calendar once you’re feeling up to it. Don’t force it too early.
Pick up a yoga or dance class that you can do two or three times a week. This will help add some structure to your days.
Spend time with friends on the weekends as much as you can. If you don’t, you’ll feel sad when you’re at home on what used to be your date nights.

, You’ll never appreciate your friends and family more than you will when you’re going through a romantic rough patch

Make girl’s night a regular thing, hang out with your siblings and parents more often than normal, and even get closer to some friends you’ve fallen out of touch with because of your relationship.
Remind yourself how lucky you are to have so may people who care about you — even if your ex isn’t one of them.

Get silly with your friends. Play a fun sport, a game, or do charades. Just do something to take your mind off of your situation.
Go to the movies with your friends. Try to see every Oscar-nominated movie out that year to keep busy.
Take a road trip with your close friends. The new surroundings will make you feel better.
Even making time for a phone date once or twice a week with your close friends will make you feel better.

, Keeping a record of your thoughts every day or two can help you feel in control of your emotions and can also help you reflect on how you are passing the time. You will be able to open up, evaluate your situation, and get some breathing room from not hanging out with your friends.

You don’t have to dwell on all of your feelings about your break-up; just recording your daily thoughts will make you feel more at peace.

Make a date with yourself to do this at least twice a week. You’ll be surprised by how much calmer it can make you feel.
You can also use the journal to set goals for how you want to feel or act in the upcoming days.

, If you want to enjoy your life again, then you have to keep mixing things up and introducing new rewards into your life. What better reward than a new, fulfilling activity you can do on your own?

Try poetry, dancing, running, biking, sketching, writing a screenplay, playing the guitar, blogging, or doing something completely unfamiliar that you’ve always wanted to try.
Take the extra free time you have from not always being around your ex as an opportunity to try all of the things you’ve always wanted to try, or to discover something new.

It’s okay to pick something you know you won’t be good at. Failing can be fun and can help you deal with hardships.
Picking new hobbies can also help you meet new people who are interested in the same thing.
If you already have a hobby that you love, try to devote even more time to it.

, Maybe your ex hated Mexican food. Maybe he hated traveling. Maybe he hated big, noisy parties while you couldn’t get enough of them. He could have hated hanging out with your sister and her artsy boyfriend., It’s time to take advantage of the fact that you can do whatever you want and that you don’t have to please anybody when you make your schedule.

Make a list of all of the things you could never do without your ex. Then, check them off your list, one by one! See how good it feels?

, If you want to find peace, then you have to be truly happy on your own. Though being single can be hard, you have to appreciate the perks of the single life before you put yourself out there again.

If you’re too eager to jump in to a new relationship just because you don’t want to be alone, then you’re almost guaranteed to run into Mr. or Mrs. Wrong yet again.
You can only truly start looking once you’re content to be on your own for a little while.

Indulge in the perks of being single: having fun girl’s or guy’s nights, being able to flirt all the time, being able to set your schedule and not give in to anyone else’s demands.

, If you’re dealing with a break-up, then you may be eating every bar of chocolate or every bacon burger within a ten mile radius of your home and referring to the effort your index finger makes when pushing the “on” and “off” buttons on your remote as your daily exercise.

Though the last thing you may want to do is haul your butt over to the gym, it’ll make you feel better physically and emotionally. Exercising releases endorphins, which are known to make people feel better, and you’ll be needing that, won’t you?

Exercising regularly also adds some stability to your routine, and you may be lacking it.

, As you begin to truly accept the breakup, you can view your own life from a more rational perspective.

You can see that you have so many things to be thankful for: your friends, your family, your health, your looks, all of the opportunities you have in your life
It may be hard to think positively and notice all the good in your life when you’re reeling from a break up, but as you begin to come to terms with it, you can remind yourself how fortunate you truly are, even if you’re still looking for love.

Write a gratitude list. Write down at least thirty things that you love about your life. You shouldn’t have to struggle to come up with those.
Make a habit of thanking people for helping you more often than usual. You’ll feel better about your life, and they will, too.

, Once you’ve spent enough time by yourself and have gotten enough distance from your ex, you can slowly start putting yourself on the dating market again.

Start slow, and go on a date with a guy or girl your friend thinks is perfect for you, or go on a low-pressure group date. You probably won’t find Romeo or Juliet on your first try — or your second, or your seventh.
Once you get into the habit of looking and feeling good about who you are, you’ll eventually find the right person.

It could take months, or even years, to feel ready to truly open up and be ready for love. Don’t be frustrated if you just don’t think it’s the right time.
Once you’ve found that right person, you’ll see that all the suffering you went through from this break-up has made you a stronger, more capable, and more loving person.

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