Identify your limits.,
Share your limits with your sister.,
Respect your sister’s limits.
Look back over the conflicts you’ve had with your sister. Identify the source of the issue and take time to think about how these conflicts could have been avoided altogether. Try to pinpoint the times that she has pushed you over the edge and consider how you could you have prevented the fight from escalating to that point. This information will help you identify your limits—the baseline and peak of your tolerance for your sister.
Instead of manipulating you into doing something, you would like her to ask you for help or a favor.
For example, when she starts to yell at you, will you walk away from the conversation? Or, if she bullies you, will you tell your parents?, If you feel comfortable approaching your big sister, you may find it helpful to talk to her about your boundaries. Make sure she understands that you are setting these boundaries because you want to have a healthy relationship with her. After you share your limits with her, ask if she can respect your boundaries.
For example, you could say, “Linda, I want to establish some boundaries with you. I will not tolerate you bullying me any more. When this happens, I will let mom and dad or another adult know right away.”
, Like you, your big sister will also have boundaries. Ask her if there is anything you can do to avoid conflict in the future. Remember, if you expect her to respect your boundaries, you must respect hers.For example, you could say, “Linda, do you have any boundaries for our relationship?”