Practice thought saturation.,
Find and combat triggers.,
Write two letters.,
Condition opposite responses to negative thoughts.,
Exaggerate your greatest fear.,
Reach out to your support group.
When you find your thoughts returning over and over again to that particular person, you may benefit from a period of sustained thought about that person. For a set period of time, even 10 minutes can be enough, think only about that person.Doing this can lessen the intensity of the feeling, leaving you calmer.
Try not to think about your future together or what might come; focus your thoughts only on that person and their characteristics for the entirety of the time.
, Sometimes, all you need is the right distraction to get your mind off your potential lover. Past happy experiences can restore perspective by interrupting the strong feelings you have for that person.Think of past times when you’ve had fun, or a place where you feel safe and protected.
Repeat a mantra that you find soothing. Some examples:
“Everything’s going to be OK.”
“I am calm, cool, and collected.”
“With every breath, I release anxiety and become more calm.”
“I overcome my fear and live life courageously.”, In some situations, people become so nervous around those they like that they become clumsy or inarticulate. If this happens to you, find the trigger and think about how you might combat it.
If you have difficulty talking to him, bring up a topic you’re passionate or knowledgeable about.
If you find that when he’s around you’re all thumbs, invite him for coffee or something that requires little dexterity.
, Your first letter will celebrate your feelings and all the reasons why you feel the way you do. In your second letter, write all the worries, concerns, and sources of anxiety related to the person you like. Try to make a case for moving forward, after all, you are a worthy person regardless if your affections are returned., Too often, people talk themselves into a negative loop that makes feelings more overwhelming with every passing instant. If you suffer with this condition, find out any automatic negative thoughts you have and interrupt those with an opposing positive thought. For example:
“If he doesn’t like me I’ll be so embarrassed and then people will think I’m a loser. Wait a minute. I had friends before I started liking him, so I know I’ll have friends afterwards, too. I guess it’s silly to put so much self-worth on this.”
, Tell the entire dramatic story playing in your head to yourself several times. Make sure you complete the story by taking it to its natural extreme. By the third or fourth time, you should be better able to recognize the absurdity of these extreme, yet natural, thoughts.”If I ask him out on a date and he rejects me, everyone will talk about it forever. I’ll never stop hearing, for the rest of my life, about the one time I asked this guy out. It will haunt me through college and my professional life, because everyone will already know.”
NOTE: this technique is intended to reveal warped perspective to the person using it. If you find yourself truly believing these things and unable to see how your perspective is off kilter, talk to an adult or a mental health professional.
, Though feelings of embarrassment or the knowledge of your own infatuation might make you hesitant, sharing your feelings with those you trust can help you come to terms with the normalcy of your situation, and leave you feeling less isolated. Family members and trusted friends can be a great source of strength through the storm of romantic feelings you might now be suffering.