Concentrate on him.,
Calm yourself with music.If you have music handy and it seems natural to play it, great!,
Make an “okay” sign with your fingers.,
Move your feet.
When you feel your heart thudding faster and faster, pay attention to how you are breathing. Remember: the quicker you breathe, the less air your lungs get. That means your heart is speeding up to pump the little oxygen you have to the rest of your body. So make a point of taking deep breaths to calm your body and mind.Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth.
Imagine that your lungs are down in your abs.
Think about filling your abs with air instead of your chest. This will help you draw longer breaths.;
, Keep your focus on what is happening outside of you, rather than inside. Focus all of your attention entirely on him. Empty your mind of everything else. Ignore your own internal reactions, worries, and concerns. Just pay attention to what he says and does and react to that.Obviously, you’re a human being hoping to have a conversation here, so you can’t really empty your mind of everything. The goal is to quiet any thoughts that don’t have anything to do with the immediate conversation. Just think about what you’re going to say in response to what he says, not how you feel inside. For example:
If he asks for your opinion on something (like your taste in music), speak from the gut and tell the truth, regardless of what his opinion may be. Keep the conversation going instead of stalling it by trying to second-guess yourself about what he will think of your answer.
If he says something you disagree with, say so. Don’t start yourself worrying about how he might react. It’s better to deal with his reaction, whatever it may be, than worry over a hundred different scenarios that probably won’t happen anyway.
, Play something relaxing and keep an ear tuned to that. If not, just play a song that usually calms you down in the back of your head.
The key is to play something calming. Your breathing, heart rate, and other body rhythms will naturally fall in sync with the music’s rhythm.
This is also a great ice breaker to get the conversation rolling and find out his interests.
Depending on where you are, subtle ways to go about this could be fiddling with a car radio, switching between music channels on TV, starting your iPod or other device before you engage him, or asking him if he wants to check out that jukebox in the corner.
, With one hand, form an “O” by bringing the tip of your index finger and the tip of your thumb together. Leave your other three fingers straight, but relaxed. Sounds weird, but this is actually a yoga trick known as the Gyan Mudra. Instead of focusing on all the thoughts and feelings building up inside you, just concentrate on keeping the tips of your thumb and index together together.If you think this will look weird, just hold your hands behind your back, or use whatever you’re holding (like a textbook) to hide it from view.
, Release your stress by moving around. Get your blood flowing and get rid of the tension building up inside you. Full-out dancing is a proven way to lower your anxiety, but even though it would probably be too weird if you broke out into a jig for no reason, moving around just a little bit will still help.A simple solution is to just get the conversation mobile by suggesting a walk-and-talk!
If you’re already playing music, let yourself move to the rhythm.
Slowly stepping off and on a curb or stair step also be a way to burn off nervous energy without looking too odd.